Finding Happiness
by Moon-Goddess-Lee
Summary: She was losing her muchness, so she went back only to find that things weren't as she expected them to be... or more specifically a certain hatter.


Finding Happiness

Alice was fading slowly.

She missed Underland so much, terribly. Her journey to China might have sated her hunger for adventure for now at least partially, but the bad weather and bad luck had forced the entire crew to turn back long before reaching their destination in China. Alice found herself back in London before six months had passed, once more having to suffer the many disapproving glances and glares and the whispers when they thought she wouldn't hear. Her mother was also still dead set on marrying her off, and Alice had endured an endless parade of suitors, none of which were suitable to her liking. Every last man was proper and rich and dull, no better than Hamish at all. Not to mention that she was still expected to wear her dreadful stockings and corset.

Alice was becoming more pale and distant than before, daydreaming constantly about her friends and her real home, and her dreams were haunted with their faces every night. Her dear silly Mad Hatter would say that she was losing her muchness again. He would be right. Her free spirit stifled under the gloomy and oppressive boring social expectations here in London. Everything was just so horribly dull.

Alice had to go back; she had to get back soon.

She gathered up all of her muchness and began to set her affairs to rights. Her father's share of the trading company would of course go to Lord Ascot, who accepted it with surprise, and all the money she owned went to her mother, who she truly did love dearly with all of her heart.

She'd been surprised but delighted nonetheless when she'd caught glimpses of a certain white rabbit in the bushes, then too-wide and faceless grin lurking in the shadows, then a butterfly with wings too bright a shade of blue, Absolem. When she got cornered by them in her bedchamber, she knew that she was very nearly ready to leave in a heartbeat.

"Hello, my old friends!" Alice said cheerfully, but her good mood died when she saw the look on their faces. Absolem looked grim, Chessur's grin was forced, and poor nervous McTwisp was very nearly vibrating. "…..What's wrong?"

"You're late Alice!" McTwisp exploded, and for a moment he looked almost like Thackery. "You must come with us, now, or you will be too late!"

His frantic and upset tone only added to the dread coiling in her stomach. "Too late for what?" she gasped.

"Not for what," Absolem sneered, his tone laden with something like disgust. "For who, stupid girl."

Alice stared in complete horror. Chessur rolled onto his back, grin widening almost maliciously, and purred, "You're dear Mad Hatter, Alice. He's most unwell, you see, and only you can save him."

Her mind went blank with total panic. "Oh—"she gasped. "I...I must write a note…I have to say goodbye…"

"Then hurry, stupid girl," Absolem spat, and she did. It wasn't a neat letter by any means, blotched and splattered with ink in her haste, but it served its purpose. 'Wonderland is real,' she wrote. 'And now something has come up and I must go back. I love you, but I don't belong here. Don't look for me.'

It was her last and final goodbye.

McTwisp nervously checked his watch again and again. "Oh, do hurry!" he yelped loudly, and Alice swallowed hard, scrawled a signature at the bottom of the note, and dropped the pen, staining her desk that she'd never use again.

"Alright," she said shakily. "I'm ready now. Take me back."

McTwisp grabbed her hand, Chessur draped himself over her shoulders, and Absolem settled on her head. "Hurry quickly now!" the White Rabbit hissed. "Through the Looking Glass!"

"The Looking Glass?" Alice exclaimed in surprise. "I thought—"

"No time!" McTwisp cried, voice shaking with nerves. He tugged her hand hard again, and she stepped hesitantly through the reflective surface of the glass. It rippled magically around her like thick liquid or gel, sucking and dragging at her, until she broke through the clinging surface and stumbled into the blinding whiteness of Mamoreal.

"Alice!" called the White Queen, her dark eyes brightening at the sight of her Champion. She drifted over to Alice and took the hand that McTwisp relinquished, pulling her gently but firmly and with intense speed through the twisting white corridors. Alice stumbled after the monarch with far less grace.

Eventually, they stopped at a door, and Mirana pressed a finger to her dark-painted lips, "He's in here," she murmured softly. "He's in an enchanted sleep, but…he doesn't look like the Hatter you met."

Alice's worry showed on her face. Mirana sighed. "He's been very ill…he misses you too much, Alice. You're the only one who can set this right." Alice swallowed. How could preparing to see her friend be more terrifying than facing down a Jabberwocky?

Oh, that's right. Because he was beside her as she faced down that horrible beast, and now he was the one dying.

She touched the doorknob, gathered her muchness, and pushed it open.

The Hatter was now unrecognizable. Once so colorful, he was now overwhelmingly grey. Even his impossibly brilliant orange hair had gone to a shade like long-dead autumn leaves. His usual clothes in their glorious quirkiness were replaced with the soft silver-white raiment of Marmoreal, only serving to wash his skin out even more. He was horribly thin, bony and terribly sick-looking. His form was dwarfed in the white bed, dull hair splayed and tangled about his drawn face, one clenched and bandaged fist grasping a handful of fabric like a lifeline.

Tears stung Alice's eyes. "Oh, Tarrant," she whispered, settling on the edge of his bed. "What have I done to you?"

Mirana floated back into the room, holding a small bottle of pale blue liquid. Alice started—she hadn't realized the Queen had left. "The antidote," she explained. "It will undo the sleep he's under and let him awaken." She leaned over the prone Hatter and parted the bluish and grey-tinted lips before carefully tipping the liquid down his throat. He swallowed reflexively, and then let out a tiny, pained whimper as the antidote took hold, dragging him back to unwilling consciousness.

She didn't notice the tears dripping from her eyelashes until they splashed onto Tarrant's face.

His orbs moved feverishly beneath their dark-stained lids before fluttering open, and her heart gave a pang at the dull grey. But as she watched and his unevenly dilated pupils focused, they gained a bit more of the bright green she loved.

"Are you really here?" he questioned tremulously. His voice sounded awful as well, a raw and broken half-whisper. "Is it…. Is it really you?"

Her chest wrenched in pain at the utter hopelessness in his tone. "Yes," she answered, putting as much love as she can into her tone, fighting to keep her voice steady.

"You're not another…dream?" he whispered, and ghosted his fingers over her face.

She struggled to smile. "No," she stated, putting as much conviction as possible into those words. "I swear that it's really me and I'm really here."

She wasn't expecting him to grab her like he did, holding her in a tight embrace with all the strength in his wasted arms, sobbing like a relieved child. She certainly didn't mind, though, and wrapped her own arms around his fragile body, supporting his shoulders as he buried his face in her neck, rubbing his back, and soon she was sobbing as well. It seemed like her fingers hit every bump and every rib. It lasted quite a while for his tears to run out, but these were healing tears and she didn't begrudge him them.

She couldn't help but burst out laughing as he pressed his face to her curls and murmured, shaky but sounding like himself again, "You're terribly late, you know…naughty." This was her beloved Hatter, surfacing from under the pain and exhaustion, and she pressed her forehead against his gently.

Their eyes met and she found herself lost in those green eyes. If only they could stay like this forever. She just wanted to stare into his eyes until the walls crumbled around them. These eyes were where she was safe.

"Alice," whispered the Hatter. The way his voice caressed her name made her tremble.

"Hatter," she whispered back. She noticed that his hand twitched slightly, but then he reached up and cradled her face in his hand. She closed her eyes, letting herself go in his soft touch.

Slowly, the Hatter pulled her closer to him on the bed. She could feel their bodies touching. His hands on her face were rough from calluses, but his touch was gentle and soft. His thumb traced little circles on her cheeks. He let go of her hand and placed his other hand on her lower back, pulling her even closer.

"I love you," he whispered. Alice opened her eyes once more. The way he said it… he was so passionate. It made her stomach flutter and her heart race.

The Hatter leaned in and placed his lips against hers. Then they were kissing as they'd never kissed before. It was slow and passionate and filled with a fire. She pulled him tightly against her. She could feel his heart beat in time with hers. It was beautiful… and a little mad.

After what could have been forever, or perhaps just a few moments, the two broke apart. She stared at the Hatter's eyes, which had darkened just slightly. "Perhaps it is a little mad," she whispered softly. "I love you too."

He smiled and kissed her once again.

Breaking from the kiss Alice looked into his bright green smiling eyes again and she smiled and closed her eyes while leaning in and resting her head against his shoulder. Smiling Tarrant held her tight not wanting to let her go. Alice looked up at him and smiled lovingly at him; smiling back Tarrant kissed her lips again softly. Breaking apart for air they smiled at each other.

"I'm here to stay for good Tarrant… I came back for you… I…I love you Tarrant… "she blushed and hid her face against his shoulder.

Feeling overwhelmingly loved and happy Tarrant smiled down at Alice and grabbed her chin with his index finger and thumb and made her look at him in the eye. "Aye love ye too Ahlice… with all me heart aye do, I'm glad your back."

He leaned down and kissed Alice softly on the lips while smiling and chuckled a little when she shivered slightly. Breaking the kiss he yawned a little and lay back down on the bed. "Are you still tired from that enchanted sleep spell Tarrant?" Alice asked concerned.

Laughing slightly Tarrant grabbed one of her hands and brought her to lie down beside him and she shyly laid her head on his chest blushing bright red.

"No, I just wanted to lie down and enjoy my time with ye." He smiled and wrapped his arms around her lovingly.

Smiling Alice relaxed into Tarrant and looked up at him and despite the gauntness and paleness, his eyes had become an even more brilliant green again, and his lips parted in that sweet gap-toothed grin she loved.

"I love you Tarrant," resting against him she closed her eyes and enjoyed the returning heat from his body.

"Aye love ye too lass, sleep well," Tarrant kissed the top of her head and closed his eyes and tightened his hold on Alice and fell into a happy slumber.


End file.
